CHIBA, Japan -- In this picture released by Chiba Zoological Park, Futa, 2-year-old male lesser panda, stands on two legs at the zoo in Chiba. He can keep standing upright more than 10 seconds and looks around when he gets attracted by something, even though he has not trained to stand on two legs. (05/19/05 AP photo/CHIBA ZOOLOGICAL PARK)

Doesn't he remind you of someone?
__________

 

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Entertainer Robert Van Winkle, formerly known as Vanilla Ice, carries his pet wallaroo Bucky from Port St. Lucie, Fla., Animal Control into a trailer for transport back home to Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Bucky and a goat named Pancho escaped from his wife's grandmother's home after his children forgot to latch a gate. (11/19/04 AP Photo/Stuart News, Matthew Ratajczak)

"Vanilla Ice", need I say more??
__________

 

SEATTLE -- Bottles of Turkey & Gravy soda and Green Bean Casserole soda sit at the Seattle headquarters of Jones Soda Co. Capitalizing on the unexpected craze of last year's Turkey & Gravy Soda, the company is launching a limited edition pack of five unique soda flavors: Green Bean Casserole, Turkey & Gravy, Mashed Potato, Cranberry, and Fruitcake. (11/05/04 AP photo)

Uh-huh, you KNOW this is gonna be a big seller...
__________

 

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- A frame grab from video shows a lion attacking a man who jumped into the animal's enclosure and shouted "Jesus will save you" at the Taipei Zoo. The man, identified only by his surname, Chen, suffered from bite marks on his arms and legs. "He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices," psychiatrist Teng Hui-wen told reporters, saying his case was still being investigated. (11/03/04 AP photo)

IMAGINED... he heard voices?, apparently they were screamin' at him...
__________

 

PHUKET, Thailand -- A devotee to the Chinese Shrine of Jui Tui in Phuket, Thailand, has his face pierced by a bicycle and helped by others as he takes part in the annual Vegetarian Festival. Ritual Vegetarianism in Phuket traces it roots back to the early 1800's. The festival begins on the first evening of the ninth lunar month and lasts for nine days. Participants in the festival perform acts of body piercing as a means of shifting evil spirits from individuals onto themselves. (10/20/04 AP photo)

all you wimps with a tongue-stud... try this on for size...
__________

 

PARIS -- French urban climber Alain Robert, dressed as Spiderman, climbs the 48-story Total tower without ropes and using only his bare hands, in the Paris suburb La Defense as part of the promotion for the upcoming release of the movie Spiderman on DVD in Britain. (10/19/04 AP photo)

Ol' Alain's cut back on his drugs a touch...
__________

 

WASHINGTON -- Washington artist Kayti Didriksen's painting "Man of Leisure, King George" depicts President Bush in the well-known style of Manet's "Olympia", as he is presented with his crown by a depiction of Vice President Dick Cheney. The cartoonish painting has been taken down from the wall at the City Museum of Washington, awaiting a more welcoming venue. (10/11/04 AP photo)

When I think of George Bush, I think of "Olympia"
__________

 

DHAKA, Bangladesh -- A Bangladeshi Biman aircraft lies at an angle after it skidded off a rain-soaked runway. The plane, carrying 87 people including five crew, hit a large puddle of water before veering off the runway injuring several people. (10/08/04 AP photo)

"I told you to hit the BRAKES, not the gas"
__________

 

LONDON -- Spink auctioneers employee Jill Potterton holds up an Anglo-Saxon gold penny in their central London office. The 1,200-year-old Anglo-Saxon penny sold for 230,000 pounds, US$409,000, euro 333,000, setting what the auction house said was a new world record for the most expensive British coin. (10/06/04 AP photo)

be funny if it was a fake...
__________

JACKSON, N.J. -- This is an architectural artist's drawing of a proposed roller coaster to be opened this spring at Six Flags Great Adventure -- a thrill ride that accelerates to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds and rises 456 feet off the ground. (09/29/04 AP photo)

Now c'mon... would you actually get on this thing??
__________

 

DALLAS -- Tim Thibodeaux is perched precariously atop" Big Tex" as he prepares the 52-foot-tall talking cowboy figure for the opening of the State Fair of Texas. Big Tex made his debut in 1952 and began greeting fairgoers in 1953. (09/20/04 AP photo)

Does, "bite my a**", come to mind?
__________

 

PLEASANT GROVE, Utah -- Images of President Bush, top, and Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, make up a corn maze. The maze will be open to the public on Sept. 24. The labyrinth is eight acres in size and has more than three miles of twists and turns. (09/20/04 AP photo)

You automatically know that's not corn they're growing, don't ya??
__________

 

WARLINGHAM, Great Britain -- The scene a car smashed into a house. Police said the car smashed into a garden, skimmed the wall of one house, damaging a bay window, and then came crashing into the neighbouring home. An elderly couple were upstairs at the time and were not hurt. The 23-year-old driver of the BMW suffered minor injuries and was taken to hospital, but later released. (09/13/04 AP photo)

Those "B-mers" are something, aren't they??
__________

 

LONDON -- A police officer, left, watches a protester dressed as Batman, right, who stands on a ledge at London's Buckingham Palace near the balcony where the royal family appears on ceremonial occasions. The protester was identified as Jason Hatch, 33, a member of the Fathers 4 Justice group which is campaigning for greater custody rights for divorced or separated fathers. (09/13/04 AP photo)

Prelude to the upcoming movie, "Batman Needs To Go To The Gym"
__________

ARCHER, Fla. -- An automobile is shown swallowed by a sinkhole approximately 10-feet deep in the parking lot of Hitchcocks Foodliner following Hurricane Frances. (09/07/04 AP photo)

"I was driving down the street... I saw a hole... I drove into it"
(is this guy blind, or what?)
__________

 

MADRAS, India -- C. Manoharan Snake Manu practices with a garden snake by running it through his nose and out his mouth in an attempt to create a Guinness Record. Manu plans to set the record by using a live cobra. (09/02/04 AP photo)

I can't wait for the cobra pic...
__________

LUGANO, Switzerland -- The world's most pierced woman, Elaine Davidson from Brazil, a resident in the Scottish city of Edinburgh, poses for a photographer during the 6th Ti-Tattoo Convention. Davidson claims to have upwards of 1,900 piercings, and has an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records. (08/27/04 AP photo)

AND... she's still a virgin...
__________

 

BUNOL, Spain -- Unidentified people lie in a river of tomato juice at the end of the "Tomatina" tomato throwing festival in Bunol, eastern Spain. Some 20,000 people turned 132 tons of tomatoes into pulp during the annual festival. (08/25/04 AP photo)

ya think drugs were involved at all??
__________

 

LAS VEGAS -- Rick Roufus, left, delivers a blow to the body of Taro Akebono of Japan during the third round of the K-1 Battle of Bellagio III at Bellagio in Las Vegas. Roufus won the fight by a unanimous decision. (08/07/04 AP photo)

no way Rufus lost, the "fix" was in...
(note it was held in Las Vegas)
_________

 

SAN FRANCISCO -- Baba Ganoush, left, plays with her cloned sibling Tabouli. The cloned kittens are the first two cats cloned by chromatin transfer, a new cloning technology developed by Genetic Savings & Clone, a pet gene banking and cloning company, who produced the kittens as a precursor to production of the first batch of cat clones for the public. It will cost $50,000 to have your cat cloned. (08/05/04 AP photo)

I'll bet you 1 bazillion dollars this will be a successful business...
_________

 

Photo shows a female Osedax frankpressi that has been dissected in the whale bone. The green tissue is where the bacteria are found and part of it has been torn, exposing the white ovary. Two strange new species of worms, without eyes or stomachs or even mouths, have been discovered living on the bones of dead whales in California's Monterey Bay. (07/29/04 AP photo - Science Magazine)

Huh??? What???
__________

 

ALAPAHA, Ga. -- Chris Griffin, 31, poses beside the half-ton wild hog he shot on Thursday, June 17, 2004. No one keeps official records on hog kills, but Georgia game officials say it is the largest they have ever heard of. (07/29/04 AP Photo/River Oak Plantation)

Hmmm... wonder what you shoot something like that with??
(I'd use my favorite bazooka)
__________

 

ISLAMORADA, Fla. -- A tractor-trailer was dangling from the side of a bridge in the Florida Keys following an accident. It was hanging by only one of its rear tires, which was hooked onto a concrete guardrail. The truck's cab did not go over the guardrail. (07/26/04 AP photo)

If that's the case... where's the tractor??
__________

 

MANILA, Philippines -- An eight-story office building which was leaning precariously for days in one of Manila's busy commercial districts, collapses hours after occupants fled in panic following creaking sounds and bursting water pipes. No injuries were reported but the incident damaged another building across the street. (07/23/04 AP photo)

for all you folks who wonder why building codes are so strict...
__________

 

SYDNEY, Australia -- Swinburne University of Technology's center for micro-photonics have constructed a model of the Sydney Opera House, see photo above, that is about half the diameter of a human hair. It is more than a million times smaller than the real Sydney structure. The model was built from a hybrid material of glass and polymer by firing intense laser light into the matter in a liquid state to create what to the human eye appears as an almost imperceptible dot, but under an electron microscope it contains the detail and the beauty of the iconic Sydney harbour side structure. (07/23/04 AP-Swinburne University)

(a token gesture for my geek-friends)
__________

 

TEL AVIV, Israel -- Natasha, a 5-year-old black macaque walks at the Safari Park near Tel Aviv. The young monkey began recently walking exclusively on her hind legs after a stomach ailment nearly killed her, zookeepers said. (07/20/04 AP photo)

What's the big deal? - Chuck can do that...
__________

 

LOS ANGELES -- Gunther von Hagens, right, gestures towards a cadaver preserved through a process called "plastination" during a news conference as Jeffrey Rudolph, president and CEO of the California Science Center watches. Hagens' "Body Worlds: The Anatomical Exhibition of Real Human Bodies," opens Friday. (06/30/04 AP photo)

Ever wanted to keep that special loved one around after their dead??
__________

 

LENGWIED, Austria -- A house is not a home - but a car, for architect Manfred Voglreiter, whose creation is a hit in the town of Langwied, in Salzburg province. Locals and visitors often stop by to photograph the dwelling, built for a local family of four. (06/23/04 AP photo)

I lived in a car one time myself... (I think I'd like this one better)
__________

 

CHAU THANH, KIEN GIANG Vietnam -- Tran Van Hay, 67, from Chau Thanh district of Vietnam poses for a photo showing his over 20-feet long hair that hasn't been cut for 31 years. (06/22/04 AP photo)

So... how often you think he washed that mess??
__________

 

AKI, Japan -- A high wave lashes a fishing port in Aki, western Japan. A large typhoon lashed western Japan with heavy rains and powerful winds Monday, grounding airplanes, stalling ferries, and forcing hundreds to evacuate their homes. (06/21/04 AP Photo-Kyodo News)

"a high wave"?? -- you call that a high wave???
__________

 

ROANOKE, Va. -- A 300-pound, male, black bear walks through the halls of Carilion Franklin Memorial Hospital around 9:10 p.m. People in the background have not seen the bear at the time of this picture. Officers planned to sedate the bear, but they were worried what might happen if the bear got loose in the hospital. So an officer shot and killed the bear. Photo taken by a hospital surveillance camera. (06/15/04 AP photo/The Roanoke Times)

Yup, Goober 'n the boys said there was a bar down at the hospital...
__________

 

NIAGRA FALLS, Canada -- A double- decker bus owned by Double Deck Tours Limited, based in Niagara Falls, Ontario, is shown on River Road after it sheared its roof off trying to pass under the Whirlpool Rapids Bridge linking Niagara Falls, Ontario, and Niagara Falls, N.Y. More than a dozen tourists from Japan were injured. None of the injuries was serious, authorities said. (06/15/04 AP photo)

"wow, they sure make bridges strong, don't they"
(so, he'd never been on that route before??)
__________

 

ENGLISH CHANNEL -- British entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson, in a dinner jacket and bow tie, with Neil Jenkins, left, managing director of Gibbs Aquada, nears the French coast at Calais after regaining the record for crossing the English Channel in an amphibious vehicle. Using a Gibbs Aquada - -which can reach speeds of more than 100 m.p.h. on land and 30 m.p.h. on water -- Branson made the crossing in about 90 minutes, beating the previous record of six hours which was held by two Frenchmen. (06/14/04 AP photo)

"I want one, I want one..."
__________

 

LONDON -- Actress Alicia Witt models what is claimed to be the most expensive hat ever made, the $2,700,000 Champrau d'Amour, by celebrity couture hat designer Louis Mariette, at Christies in London. The hat is covered entirely in dazzling diamonds and inspired by entwined ivy and bluebells. (06/14/04 AP photo)

uh-huh... g-r-e-a-t design, don't you think??
(I think I'll get into the jewelry-design business)
__________

 

NEW YORK -- Brooklyn-based artist Cosimo Cavallaro regards his finished work of art, a bed with more than 300 pounds of sliced ham, at a gallery in New York. Cavallaro, 41, the son of immigrants from southern Italy, said the ham is "a pure form of America: all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together." Despite his Italian heritage and training in an Italian art school, Cavallaro said he had rejected Prosciutto because "It would have been pompous." (06/03/04 AP photo)

I agree, prosciutto WOULD have been pompous...
__________

 

MENLO PARK, Calif. -- A Shell gas station owner put up this sign again as gas prices increase in the area. The owner put up the sign last year when prices climbed. (05/17/04 AP photo)

I'm sure we'll eventually get there...
__________

 

PALMERTON, Pa. -- Bandit, the world's heaviest raccoon, rests in the lap of Deborah "Pepper" Klitsch on Jan. 30, 2001. Bandit, a junk-food crazed critter billed as the world's weightiest raccoon, died Saturday, May 8, 2004. Klitsch denied the occasional charge that she overfed the rotund raccoon, whose weight ballooned to nearly 75 pounds, three times the average for his breed. He was born with a bad thyroid gland, Klitsch said. (05/12/04 AP photo)

Is that a fat raccoon, or whut??
__________

 

ATLANTA -- An Atlanta firefighter leans from a parking deck with a BMW protruding over the street below in downtown Atlanta. A valet trying to park a sports utility vehicle accidentally hit the parked BMW, sending the unoccupied car halfway off a deck and dangling over the street and a parked SUV below. No injuries were reported. The SUV and the front end of the BMW were intertwined in the collision. (05/05/04 AP photo)

You know, I always KNEW those valets were rough on cars...
__________

 

LOS ANGELES -- Six nails embedded in the skull of construction worker Isidro Mejia, 39, after an industrial incident caused a nail gun to shoot nails into his head and brain on April 19, 2004, are seen in this X-ray image. Five of the six nails were removed in surgery that day and the sixth was removed from his face on April 23, after the swelling went down. (05/05/04 AP photo)

What happens if you don't pay your drug bill, AND your loan...
__________

 

WINNEMUCCA, Nev. -- A horse looks out a window of the trailer its being hauled in after a Dodge Neon collided with it. The accident occurred after high winds blew dust from a freshly plowed field across the roadway severely limiting visibility. (05/04/04 AP photo)

(Mr. Ed): "dammit, Wilbur... I told you not to stop..."
__________

 

CROMWELL, New Zealand -- Shrek the 9- year-old merino wether is photographed before he has his fleece shorn at the Golden Gate Lodge. Shrek's fleece is believed to be 6 years old after the animal was found on the Bendigo Station hilltops during a muster on April 15. (04/28/04 AP photo)

So, who shaved these guys before humans did??
__________

 

MILWAUKEE, Wis. -- Louis Volpe, acting regional supervisor of the U.S. Department of Agriculture's safeguarding intervention and trade compliance program, holds two Giant African Land Snails in the USDA's Milwaukee office. Federal health officials have seized several of these dangerous pests from Wisconsin classrooms and have started a national search for the creatures. Many of the snails, which are illegal to possess in the United States, were being used as teaching tools in some classrooms where school officials don't know they are dangerous, said Willie Harris, eastern regional director of the USDA's intervention and trade compliance bureau. (04/21/04 AP photo)

OF COURSE... they're dangerous... they grow where south Georgia pigs do
__________

 

ROSWELL, N.M. -- Nancy Lopez Elementary School principal Sharon Butler prepares to kiss a pig at the school. Butler agreed to kiss the pig if students at the school raised $1,000 for the American Cancer Societys Relay for Life fund drive. (04/20/04 AP photo)

the original deal was... she was sposed to slip him the tongue...
(what a gyp)
__________

 

DEXTER, Mich. -- Footsie takes a walk on his prosthetic feet with his owner Helen DePinto. Ken Woodard and Steve Hoover, of Wright & Filippis, and veterinarian Dr. Tom Maves worked together to create the artificial feet for Footsie. (04/19/04 AP photo)

they woulda looked better in beige... (suede, perhaps??)
__________

 

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. -- An unidentified man hangs upside down from the Rte. 18 South bridge over Weston Mill Pond as police and firefighters assess the situation. A passing cab noticed the man hanging from the bridge about 9:00 a.m. and alerted police. (04/11/04 AP photo)

I agree, I wouldn't let him down either...
"how much money you got, smarty-pants?"
__________

 

AARHUS, Denmark -- Danish Crown Prince Frederik and his fiancee Mary Donaldson look at the Ron Mueck sculpture 'Boy' at The Aros Art Museum. The Aros Art Museum, situated 200 kilometers (125 miles) northwest of the capital, Copenhagen, was opened Wednesday by Danish Queen Margrethe. (04/07/04 AP photo)

Guess which one is real...
__________

 

AHMADABAD, India -- Devotees offer flowers to Tapawsiary Bapu, 37, an Indian Hindu holy man who has buried himself neck down in the ground for meditation for 10 days at Pathapur, 40 kilometers (25 miles) north of Ahmadabad. Bapu began his meditation on March 20 and will emerge from the hole on March 29. (03/26/04 AP photo)

10 days??? - wonder how often they cut the grass...
__________

 

ILULLISSAT, Greenland -- The finished product of Chilean-born Danish artist Marco Evaristti's "Ice Cube Project" is seen in Ilullissat, Greenland. Evaristti used 3,000 liters (780 gallons) of dye used to highlight meat diluted with sea water, three fire hoses, two icebreakers and a 20-man crew to spray the chunk of ice for his artwork. (03/24/04 AP photo)

Hmmm... I woulda done it in green...
__________

 

MONTPELIER, Vt. -- Winner Daegan Goodman of Montpelier, Vt., holds his winning entry in the 29th Annual Odor- Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest. The city hosts the Rotten Sneaker Contest, an annual event in which "master sniffers" judge who has the worst-smelling pair of sneakers. (03/16/04 AP photo)

Wouldn't you have LOVED to have been at this contest...
(honey, where's the mustard?)
__________

 

ALEXANDRIA, Ind. -- Rick Barker, left, an arborist, uses an incremental borer to retrieve a core sample from Michael Carmichael's giant ball of paint. Carmichael, right, is having the core sample sent to the Guiness Book of World Records in London, UK to have his creation officially recognized as the largest ball of paint in the world. Carmichael began the project by painting a regulation size baseball in 1977 to arrive at the current 111-inch in circumference ball after 18,000 coats of paint. (03/13/04 AP photo)

huh... looks fake to me...
__________

 

TOKYO -- Nuvo, a prototype of a human- shaped walking robot, walks on the stage during a press unveiling in Tokyo. The 15-inch-tall Nuvo walks on two legs, picks itself up when it falls, recognizes voice commands such as "advance" and "stop," and relays images of its surroundings to a videophone from Japan's top mobile carrier NTT DoCoMo. (03/02/04 AP photo)

So... Chuck can do the same thing...
__________

 

SYDNEY -- A 30-meter high Vincent van Gogh hot air balloon flies over Sydney, Australia. The balloon, in Australia from its home country of the Netherlands, will participate in the upcoming Canberra Balloon Fiesta, which takes place March 6-15. (03/01/04 AP photo)

(do you suppose there's an ear on the other side?)
__________

 

SINGAPORE -- Polar bears Sheba, right, and her 13-year-old son Inuka, wander at their cage of Singapore Zoological Gardens in Singapore. The usually white coats of the two polar bears turned green a few weeks ago from algae growing in their hollow hair shafts. Sheba's coat was successfully bleached with hydrogen peroxide 2 1/2 weeks ago and Inuka will be given a similar treatment in 3 weeks time. (02/23/04 AP photo)

I'd be contacting the Clorox Corp if it were me...
gotta be a little promo-money in this...
__________

 

WASHINGTON -- Image released by the FBI of the the letter containing ricin sent last year to the White House that threatened to turn Washington into a "ghost town" if new trucking safety regulations went into effect. (02/23/04 AP photo)

I like the courtesy of: "have a nice day"; (isn't that special)
__________

 

BOSTON -- An X-Ray, made of the stomach of a 62-year-old man who came to the emergency room of Cholet General Hospital in western France in 2002. He had a history of major psychiatric illness, was suffering from stomach pain, and could not eat or move his bowels. Doctors discovered an enormous opaque mass in his stomach that turned out to weigh 12 pounds. The patient had swallowed around 350 coins, along with assorted necklaces and needles. (02/18/04 The New England Journal of Medicine 2004)

Hey, uh... you're not missing anything are you??